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Game of Hunger

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Game of Hungerle Mer 16 Avr 2014, 15:42
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Game of Hunger




"I warned you of this! I have warned you all! You have angered the Gods, and the Gods will have their revenge!" The old bearded man spoke with an angry voice. He balled his fists at the sky and screamed at the dark clouds that had formed in under five minutes. Just a moment ago the sky had been blue and clear and beautiful. Jem had witnessed it when he arrived.
"'t Is a bad omen, m'boy..." A woman told him. "Some say it's the end."
"The end of what?"
"The end of the world as we know it."
Well, fuck me then. He thought. Of fucking course it was the fucking end of the world. Jem came from a world filled with zombies. Dead people that had eaten countless of his friends and acquaintances while he ran. He somehow managed to escape that bleak past and got sent to some kind of medieval town instead, but barely 30 minutes later it seemed that this world was equally doomed. It makes a man think whether the problem lies with him, and not the world he's in. Maybe he was the source of all this despair. Fuck it.
"I'm out of here." He whined, grabbing the bag the woman had just made for him with one hand, and the reins of the horse with the other.
"Where are you going? You can't outrun the oncoming storm, boy!"
Maybe he couldn't, no. But if he was going to die, he might as well die trying. 


Dernière édition par Siparti le Dim 08 Déc 2019, 23:06, édité 2 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Dim 27 Avr 2014, 20:05

    Carolyn made a face of disgust. « Rats ? You find that good ? Yuk ! » At the same time, a shock made the walls tremble. The storm was certainly over them. The girl got closer to Jem and sat down on the crate as well. She automatically braided her long hair, a sign of stress for her.


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Lun 28 Avr 2014, 16:33, édité 1 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Lun 28 Avr 2014, 13:26
Corrections:
• You find that well = Grammaticalement, ça devrait être "you find that good" (well is an adverb, modifying the verb, and good is an adjective, modifying the noun). Here, you refer to a fact ("Jem likes that there are rats"), so you have to use the adjective.
• made walls = made the walls (un oublie ?)
• She braided automatically her long hair = She automatically braided her long hair / She braided her long hair automatically (Adverbs go in front of the verbs most of the time, remember ?)
• sign = a sign

He quickly glanced at her when she sat down next to him. He hadn't asked for her company and didn't exactly want it, but she did sort of save his life, so he allowed it for once. Why do you have long hair like that ? If the girl had come from his world, there's no way she could've kept it that way. If you didn't shave or cut your hair off, it'd be too easy to grab for the undead.


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Re: Game of Hungerle Lun 28 Avr 2014, 20:27

    ~:
    Adverbs are my enemies. For ever. Definitively. ToT

    She kindly smiled to him. « Well ... Some guys burned them when I was a child. I have bad memory of that moment, and since then, I refuse to cut them. » she sighed. « Now, it's my turn : where do you come from ? »


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Lun 28 Avr 2014, 22:55, édité 1 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Lun 28 Avr 2014, 21:44
Prout:
You'll learn to love them \o/

• Some guys burn them = burned (past tense)
• this moment = that moment (you use that when you refer to the past)

Your turn ? He scoffed. I never agreed to tell you anything, goldilocks. Jem had simply been appalled at the idea that someone would grow out their hair this much. It was fucking disgusting. I bet you have lice.


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Re: Game of Hungerle Lun 28 Avr 2014, 22:59

    ~:
    ToT ... Mouai, je vais essayer ... xD

    « Oh ! Mister is secretive ? Very well. » she laughed. She glanced at her magically protected hair. « For your information, I don't think so. I didn't verify every meter, but ... I take care of them. » Suddenly there was a scratching noise. Certainly a rat. Yuk !


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Jeu 01 Mai 2014, 13:25, édité 2 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Mar 29 Avr 2014, 16:19
BOUH !:
• She glanced at her hair, magically protected. = Juste pour être sûre, tu voulais dire quoi par "magically protected" dans la phrase là ?
• I didn't go to verify = I didn't verify grammatically
• a noise of scratching = a scratching noise
Remarque: Tu mets souvent des virgules où y'en a pas en anglais. Genre au début des phrases (les "Suddenly," ou "Then,"). It makes unnecessary pauses in written English. They really don't use that many commas (except behind words such as however, well, etc. But only very rarely with words describing time.)

Not secretive. I just don't know who the fuck you are. Didn't mommy teach you not to talk to strangers, Carolyn ? His joke was lost on her, for her attention seemed to be on something else entirely. What ? Are you afraid of rats ? They can save your life, you know. Besides, skewered rats taste fucking amazing. Ever tried it ? Or have you only ever eaten lobster and caviar, princess ?


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Re: Game of Hungerle Mer 30 Avr 2014, 18:37
    Aah !:
    Eu ... xD "protégés magiquement" ? :3 => protégés de la poussière, des ciseaux, toussa toussa ...
    Ah okay, j'essayerais de moins en mettre :O

    A little annoyed because of the animal, she answered without smiling. « I've never eaten rats in Lond... in my city. I preferred to steal tastier things. » She shivered. « And I am not frightened ! »


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Re: Game of Hungerle Mer 30 Avr 2014, 20:18
Muhahaha:
• her hair magically protected = her magically protected hair, alors ! °^° Les adjectifs devant le substantif.
• AUCUNE ERREUR \o/

Lon- ? London ? You're from England then. Is that where we are ? Cause he still didn't have a fucking clue. He'd been here for a while, yet - besides the fact that this place was medieval - he didn't know where "here" was exactly.


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Re: Game of Hungerle Jeu 01 Mai 2014, 13:33
    ... Q_Q:
    *danse de la joie*

    « You ... You know London?! » She was shocked. Then she looked at him sadly. « I know nothing about it ... Nobody has ever heard about England here. » She felt the ground trembling. « I think ... I think that we went back in time. Nothing is as at my home here... ».


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Re: Game of Hungerle Mer 07 Mai 2014, 16:30
I don't care where we are. Anything's better than where I was. He admitted. It's not like we can do anything about it anyway. You better get used to it quickly. The first to die are the depressed people. Or maybe the fat ones.


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Re: Game of Hungerle Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 20:16

    Yeah, a survivor. Carolyn had suspected it but now she was sure. Lost in her thoughts she stared at him while smiling. When she realized it she abruptly diverted the glance. « It is all the same strange ... I shouldn't have ventured so far but ... » she sighed. « It'll be fine in the end. It is enough to let this storm pass and ... to continue to live ! »


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 21:38, édité 2 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 20:54
Poep:
• she fixed him by smiling = she stared at him while smiling
• she diverted abruptly = she abruptly diverted
• I shouldn't so have ventured far but = I shouldn't have ventured so far
• Finally that will go = J'ai pas compris ce que t'essayais de dire ici D:

Ps: J'éditerais mon poste quand t'as répondu pour être sûre de ne pas dire nawak dans ma réponse °^°

EDIT: • Finally that will go = It'll be fine in the end, alors 8D Ou un truc du genre. We'll be all right in the end. We'll do okay. [insert 1000 sentences here]

You sure are optimistic. He noted. It was rare to meet optimists nowadays. Well, maybe it wasn't rare in London, but it sure was in Norway. Jem didn't quite know how long they sat there, listening to the gnawing of the rats or the pitter-patter of their feet, but he remained silent for a long time. Until FINALLY, the sound of the storm seemed to cease. ... should we go take a look ?


Dernière édition par Siparti le Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 21:36, édité 1 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 21:31

    Carolyn seemed to wake up. « Oh, of course ! » she answered with a smile. She ran out because she was curious. However she only perceived the desolation around her. « Hey Ho ! » she clumsily tried.



Yoohoo ~:
Mercii :3


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 22:13, édité 2 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 21:37
[ HRP: "HEY HOO" XD Elle me fait trop marrer. ]

Tch. Ridiculous. Jem stood behind her, his arms crossed while his eyes ran over the environment. This landscape pretty much looked like Hiroshima or Nagasaki after the bombs. The storm had taken plants, houses and people alike. Shit. Objects were scattered all around them. It was a fucking miracle they managed to doze off through it.

Spoiler:
Oops, j'ai oublié: "She only perceived"


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Re: Game of Hungerle Jeu 08 Mai 2014, 22:12

    ~:
    ^o^

    « Muuuurmuuuurs !! » she shouted. « Is there anybody here !? » Yelling after all this time was great for the girl. She cheerfully began running. « Jem, look ! » She pointed at the rests of a necklace and a kitchen knife. She seized it. « Do you think that we can find useful things here ? »


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Ven 09 Mai 2014, 20:06, édité 2 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Ven 09 Mai 2014, 11:29
Spoiler:
• To exclaim = to shout/cry out ?
• She began cheerfully = She cheerfully began
• She pointed the rests of = She pointed at the [...]


Probably. It was as if someone had flung all kinds of random objects around the little hut (that wasn't there anymore, btw) after all. He quickly glanced at his watch - old habits die hard - then followed her on the terrain. Got any other weapons ?


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Re: Game of Hungerle Ven 09 Mai 2014, 14:57

    ~:
    Exclaim, c'était plutôt dans le sens crier joyeusement, évacuer un trop plein d’énergie, donc "cry out" ça me semble plutôt sombre/triste pour ça xD
    Adveeerbes ...   :+/*5:  
    Prépositioooons ...  :gugussderenou:  

    « I would like to find firear ... Oh sorry, you probably don't know firearms ? » she nostalgically asked. « There are none here. Not in this world, I guess. » She suddenly saw an ax, the handle of which was broken. « On the other hand we should find this kind of thing. »


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Ven 09 Mai 2014, 20:09, édité 1 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Ven 09 Mai 2014, 19:11
Spoiler:
• Aaah, shout ou bien yell alors. "To exclaim" est bizarre dans ce contexte. Et pour l'incorporer dans la phrase, il faut le dire comme ça: Yelling after all this time was [...]
• There is not here = There aren't any here / There are none here.
• She perceived suddenly an ax = She suddenly saw an ax (J'ai mit "saw", parce que "perceived" c'est plutôt genre... "reconnaître" ou bien "réaliser".)

The fuck. He rolled his eyes. Of course I know fucking firearms. And if you asked him, those were worth 5 axes. Jem wasn't particularly strong, and he knew for a fact that swinging an axe would only end badly for himself. That's why he usually looked for groups or people more skilled at killing than him. He depended on them for his own survival. But they didn't have a lot of options here. Look for less heavy pointy objects. He said, then walked away in the other direction to go look too.


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Re: Game of Hungerle Sam 10 Mai 2014, 11:29

    Carolyn got bored with walking . With the help of a lock of her hair, she dragged all the objects withing her perimeter with her. So she found a piece of chair, a broom, a dead bird, a pencil, earrings (less beautiful than hers), a horseshoe, a big belt and finally a small dagger. She ran back to Jem. « Do you want the knife or the dagger ? »


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Re: Game of Hungerle Mar 13 Mai 2014, 19:59
Spoiler:
• Carolyn was bored to walk = Carolyn got bored with walking
• and returned to her all which was visible around her = no comprende, friend
• So she got back = So she came back with [...] / She found ?
• less beautiful than her one = less beautiful than hers

He grabbed the dagger without further comments. Why would he want a kitchen knife ? Daggers were weapons, sharp on both sides, made to kill; while knives were created to cut bread. The choice was obvious here. Carolyn would've died back home in Norway. Hey, Carolyn ? Can I ask you a serious question ?


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Re: Game of Hungerle Ven 16 Mai 2014, 21:51

    ~:
    Je voulais dire : "elle ramena à elle tout ce qui était visible autour d'elle" 8D
    Elle utilise ses cheveux comme un grappin en fait, parce qu'elle a la flemme de marcher.
    J'ai essayé de traduire hein ! 8D

    Carolyn took the knife and hung it on her belt. She would sharpen it with her magic when Jem would have his back turned. Then she lifted her head. « O... Of course ! » she said, intrigued.


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Dim 25 Mai 2014, 17:36, édité 1 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Dim 18 Mai 2014, 18:17
Putain c'est pratique des longs cheveux:


Aaaaah, okay, alors c'est un truc du genre: With the help of a lock of her hair, she dragged all the objects withing her perimeter with her.

• Carolyn took then = Carolyn then took, mais ici j'aurais carrément laissé tomber le "then"
• with the magic = with her magic / with magic (ou bien tu dis que c'est la magie de Carolyn, ou bien tu laisses tomber "the")
• have the back = his back (ici t'es obligé de dire que c'est son dos, sinon c'est un autre dos et Jem ne tient pas un mort là (encore) 8D)
• she lifted the head = she lifted her head (same)
• she said intrigued = she said, intrigued (détail, mais obligé de placer une virgule ici)

He parted his lips in an attempt to say something, but as soon as he uttered the words "Do you-", he stopped. Someone was standing right behind her. His gaze had shifted to the person who somehow managed to sneak up on them, and remained stuck there.


blason 1
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Re: Game of Hungerle Ven 13 Juin 2014, 10:31

    ~:
    I apologize for being laaaate :'O

    The girl waited patiently for him to finish his sentence but when he stopped speaking she was disappointed. « ... Jem ? » She followed his glance and screamed.


Dernière édition par Sunshine ☆ le Mer 02 Juil 2014, 11:10, édité 1 fois


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Re: Game of Hungerle Sam 28 Juin 2014, 13:47
De retour, pour te jouer un mauvais tour 8D:
• that he finished = for him to finish

Why did they always have to scream ? Girls are impossible. His fingers tightened around the dagger, but he didn't strike. Jem hesitated. Whoever this person was, he survived the storm. And if he survived the storm, surely he'd be more capable than the chick who screams at every encounter. Besides, if he could avoid a fight, he would. It wasn't good for his heart rate. Who are you ? He blurted out.

Do not be frightened. The stranger spoke. I am a friend.


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Re: Game of Hungerle Mer 02 Juil 2014, 11:17
    Carolyn closed the fingers discreetly. Flying sparks had appeared during a few seconds because of her fear. « If it's true, why did you not show yourself ? » she replied.


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