>
HautBas

Death row

Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Death rowle Lun 16 Mar 2015, 13:13
Rappel du premier message :

Death row



He had woken up in a prison cell. Or at least he had assumed it was a prison cell. Actually, it looked like a hospital room. There was a bed, a toilet, a sink, a mirror, and in every corner of the entirely white room, a camera. The red blinking light indicated his every move was being recorded for some obscure reason. Jem had gotten out of the bed he found himself in immediately. He had tried to open the only door in the room, but discovered it locked. A small circular window in the door had allowed him to see there was a hallway, just as white as the room, and that there was a similar room right in front of his. Another cell, he had thought. He had meticulously analyzed every corner of his room, hoping to find an indication (any whatsoever) as to his location, but even now he was unsure. Jem found his way back to the edge of the bed. He rubbed his face, trying to think of an explanation, thinking back and attempting to dislodge his last memories, but his mind was empty. There was a sense of vagueness there. He knew who he was, and when he was. It was the where and the why that were fuzzy. What the fuck is go-- His muttering got interrupted by a loud buzzer. Suddenly there was a window in the left wall of his room, which had definitely been full white before. The window allowed him to look right into the next room, where another guy was being held prisoner, just as he was.


Dernière édition par Siparti le Dim 08 Déc 2019, 23:06, édité 2 fois


blason 1

Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mar 05 Mai 2015, 17:02
HRP:
Ah OK. On met toujours le verbe qui suit before au gérondif, si je comprends bien. Enfin... dans ce genre de cas, hein ^^

Mmm, OK, got it! Well then, I'll rely on you from now on. You make us avoid trouble and I protect us in case trouble comes to us. Do we have a deal?


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 06 Mai 2015, 01:18
HRP:
J'ai buggé sur le 'gérondif' un moment, mais oui, the gerund XD

Ok. We have a deal. Perfect. Jem didn't have to do a thing. He still slid the gun at the back of his pants, though. You never know. Then you better walk in front of me. Oh and don't open the first door you see, next time. Yeah, that was seriously stupid.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 06 Mai 2015, 14:31
Fair enough, Jem! So, what's the plan, now? Where the hell do we go? What can we do according to the information we've got so far?


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 06 Mai 2015, 16:00
Nothing. Play the game. It was the sad truth. The only way to get out of this hellhole was by obeying the mastermind's commands. Play by the rules. They were probably being watched anyway. No way to escape. Jem kept the mirror shard in his fist, then gave Aldo the OK to move on. Go on. End of the hallway.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Jeu 07 Mai 2015, 15:12
Aldo obeyed, as he had promised. He walked carefully in front of Jem until the end of the hallway. OK, no problem so far. At the end of the hallway there was an intersection : they could either go left or right. Aldo glanced cautiously right and left. Well, he told Jem. There are two clowns armed with Tasers on the right, and nothing on the left. The problem is: if we go left, we need to be discreet enough to not get caught... this is where you intervene, you trouble avoider... or we can do it my way, if you prefere... It won't be discreet, but it can also work... in some way. What do you say?


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Ven 08 Mai 2015, 00:01
Spoiler:
• if you prefere = prefer

I say we go this way. Jem pointed at the wall right in front of them. No door. No passage. Just a wall. Wait... this goes against everything you just told Aldo, Jem. Are you sure ? *Yes* Completely sure ? *Yes* One hundred percent ? *How many times do I have to say yes* Okay, geez, relax. Was just askin'...


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Ven 08 Mai 2015, 12:19
Aldo had promised to obey Jem, and so did he. I'll be back in a minute, Jem. In the meantime, watch the clowns. I gotta go back to the weapons room! he said... and he ran there without waiting for an answer. When he came back from the weapons room, he was armed with a bazooka and smiling with all his teeth. You know, Jem, I love so much the way you are discreet. We are not as different as I thought, after all. I advise you to back a little bit. Then, Aldo aimed the wall with the bazooka and fired.


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Ven 08 Mai 2015, 12:52
Spoiler:
• Aldo had promised to obey Jem, and so did he.  = And so he did (STYLE: (...), so he did sound more natural). The construction "so did he" only works if you want to compare two people. For example: Jem had a red T-shirt, and so did he/Aldo. In the context it would mean the same thing as: "And he did too". That's why you have to inverse the words here.

• and he ran there without waiting for an answer = STYLE: and he ran off without (...)

• When he came back from the weapons room = STYLE: when he came back, he was (...) (= you already said where he was going, so no need to repeat yourself)

• smiling with all his teeth = teeth don't smile, better would be: smiled widely, or and had a big grin on his face

• I love so much the way you are discreet = I love how discreet you are so much (STYLE: I really love your discretion)

• We are not as different as I thought, after all. = STYLE: We are not so different after all, you and I.

• I advise you to back a little bit = I advise you to back up/away/to step away (a little)

• Aldo aimed the wall = Aldo aimed at the wall

BONUS: just so we're clear, we're not following proper grammar rules for dialogues, huh. Because normally you have to use quotation marks in English. (But it's redundant here cause we already use bold to signify when there is dialogue.)

"I gotta go back," he said.
"If you want," Jem answered, "you can dance."
"No! Don't! You'll—" BOOM.
Aldo nodded, "You're right."

*We are nothing alike, mate* He stopped himself from rolling his eyes, and walked way back to the end of the hallway instead. If there had really been a bazooka in that room, the clown probably assumed they'd try to use it. Technically, they were still playing by the rules. BAAAM ! A big cloud of smoke covered the area. Jem coughed, covering his nose and mouth with his arm, and squinted to try and see Aldo's shape in the fog. That damn bastard better still be alive, he muttered.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Ven 08 Mai 2015, 20:09
Wow! I like it! Aldo turned to Jem and gave him a thumbs-up. It's all cool, mate! Then, he checked the wall in front of him. No more wall. Nothing left but dust. The way was wide open... and the clowns armed with Tasers had disappeared, probably frightened by Jem's and Aldo's arguments. Aldo motioned Jem to follow him and entered the hole in the wall.


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Sam 09 Mai 2015, 17:39
Spoiler:
• It's all cool, mate! = STYLE: It's all good, mate!
• Jem's and Aldo's arguments = Jem and Aldo's arguments

Ah. Still alive. Good. A dead body wasn't of much use. Jem walked over to Aldo, glancing at the number on his watch. *Steady heartbeat, but...* Hey, you wouldn't happen to have seen a flashlight, right? The new hallway Aldo had created was damn dark and Jem didn't particularly enjoy not seeing where he walked. Especially if a killer clown was somehow watching them.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Dim 10 Mai 2015, 14:31
Hem... well, I did not think about it... I'll be back in a minute! he said again, and he ran in the weapons room without waiting for an answer... again. When he came back, he was armed with two flashlights. One for you, and one for me, he explained in case Jem wouldn't have understood. Shall we, now? he added, craving for more action. But before Jem could answer anything, Aldo lit his flashligt and entered the dark hallway.


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Dim 10 Mai 2015, 19:41
Spoiler:
• I did not think about it = STYLE: I didn't think about it
• flashligt = typo?

What wasn't to understand? Jem had asked for a flashlight, and that's what he got. No mystery there. He turned his own flashlight on, and walked through the newly opened hallway, right behind Aldo. Although his gaze darted over his shoulders a few times, it was mostly focused at his feet. Aldo's accurate bazooka shot had caused for a lot of debris to spread on the floor. So much so, that Jem almost missed the tiny hand that limply stuck out of it. Woah !


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mar 12 Mai 2015, 12:06
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
HRP:
Ouais, typo pour flashlight XD Faute de frappe, quoi ^^

When Aldo entered the hallway, he was immediately invaded by a foul odor that was reminiscent of Zombies. Furthermore, Jem shouted like a scared little girl in his back... which made Aldo start. He went to see what was happening to Jem, and saw the little hand. It seemed like a human hand, but if you looked closer it was definitely a young monkey's hand... but the hand was weird... as if it had rotted... as if... yep, as if this little monkey was a Zombie. Add sudden grunts to this stressful scene and you'll get why Aldo became nervous. The dark room was filled with zombie monkeys. But that's impossible! Monkeys can't be Zombies! Only pigs can turn into Zombies! As to prove him wrong, the little hand began to move.


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mar 12 Mai 2015, 12:40
Spoiler:
•  he was immediately invaded by a foul odor = He can't be invaded. His nose or nostrils can, though. (STYLE: (...) a foul odor reminiscent of zombies invaded his nostrils)

• Jem shouted like a scared little girl in his back = behind his back / behind him

• which made Aldo start = STYLE: startle is more common, so (...) which startled Aldo

• if you looked closer = either "took a closer look at" or "looked closely"

• as if it had rotted = STYLE: as if it were rotten

• As to prove him wrong = As if to prove him wrong

Seriously?! Fucking seriously? Zombie monkeys? Great. Just what they fucking needed. Clowns, bare feet, rubble and undead monkeys. Why not. Jem wasn't going to wait around for the monkeys to get out of the rubble, ready to attack. To be perfectly honest, he as soon as he had seen the hand, he had already started to move faster. By the time Aldo must've understood what was going on, Jem was already running.

How many were there anyway?

HRP:
On lance un dé pour voir combien de singes zombies il y a ? 8D


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mar 12 Mai 2015, 16:35
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Jem, we must get out of here... now! Aldo yelled... but there was no more Jem... Vanished. Evaporated. Really? Baby boy was too afraid to stay aro... Aldo's thought were interrupted by eight zombie monkeys getting out of the rubble. Height Zombies only? Piece of cake! he estimated thanks to his flashlight. But those Zombies were as fast and agile as monkeys... Aldo quickly realized it when he tried to kill them. It was not easy to aim at them. After considerable effort, he could kill only two of them with his submachine gun. Then, he found preferable to flee as well, so he ran in the direction he thought Jem had taken, hunted down by six fleshhungry zombie monkeys.

HRP:
Fleshhungry est un jeu de mots renvoyant à bloodthirsty ^^ Je suis pas sûr que ça marche, par contre XD

Sinon, le dé à six faces a été gentil avec nous :)


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 13 Mai 2015, 13:54
Spoiler:
Tu t'es pas relu je crois XD Plein de petites fautes de frappe ou d'inattention.

• Vanished = He vanished
• to stay aro... = in English, interrupted thoughts or speech are indicated with an em-dash. So: (...) to stay aro— (HTML code = ALT+8212)
• Aldo's thought = thoughts
• Height Zombies only? = Only eight zombies?
• he estimated thanks to his flashlight = he estimated, thanks to his flashlight (you need the comma here)
• Aldo quickly realized it = (...) realized that
• Then, he found preferable to flee as well = Then, he found it preferable to flee (...)

His heart was out of fucking control—and he was out of breath. His wristwatch monitor was beeping like all hell broke loose. He ran down the hallway without looking back, taking a sharp turn as soon as the passage allowed him to, and hid behind a big steel structure. He needed to calm down. Pronto. *Deep breaths, Jem. Deep breaths.*


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Lun 18 Mai 2015, 13:27
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
HRP:
Vanished = He vanished => Ah ? J'avais tenté un effet de style, mais apparemment ça ne fonctionne pas XD

Height Zombies only? => Je pensais que l'anglais était libre à ce niveau-là et qu'on pouvait mettre only à plusieurs endroits...

I hope I took the right way, Aldo thought. If I'm right, Jem would never flee in the direction of the clowns, so he must have turned right, he estimated. And so he did, followed by the monkeys. I don't even have bananas to distract them... Too bad... He sometimes turned and fired while fleeing. When he saw a sharp turn before him, he had killed two extra monkeys. Come on, only four monkeys left... piece of cake! Aldo took the sharp turn as fast as he could and waited for the monkeys. He fired the first that showed. Headshot! The other three monkeys all arrived at the same time. Aldo fired but missed his goal, so he decided to hide behind the big steel structure standing next to him.


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 20 Mai 2015, 18:35
HRP:
Nan, mais ça peut marcher dans un autre contexte: "The money had disappeared. Gone. Vanished." C'est une répétition en ellips. En lisant, on comprend que tu veux dire: "Had gone. Had vanished.", mais chez toi ça va pas parce que l'élément que t'as supprimé n'est pas dans la phrase avant. Pour le "evaporated" ça marche seulement si tu précises l'article que t'as laissé tomber avant donc °^°

Pour le "eight zombies only", c'est trop court. Dans cette phrase, tu le mettras à l'avant. Sinon, oui, il a beaucoup de flexibilité, dépendant des contextes.

Ps: J'vais plus faire de corrections pendant le blocus (ça prend trop de temps), donc pas besoin de t'emmerder non plus o/ But if you have a burning question you want answered, you can always ask 8)

And there he was again. You brought them here!? Jem hissed. He was trying not to fucking die, and that idiot was playing with his life again. What? Okay... fair point... Jem hadn't actually told Aldo about his heart condition, and he probably should have, but who would've thought they'd meet zombie monkeys on their way out of this building, huh? How high was that probability? Exactly. Not very fucking likely.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Dim 31 Mai 2015, 00:00
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Well, I assumed it could be easier to get rid of those cute animals with your help! Aldo answered. But you're obviously solitary! he said while shooting a monkey... but not in the head. Shit! We need to move... now! he added as he pushed Jem to make him move. Baby boy didn't seem to be aware of the danger. He was so not reactive... How can monkeys turn into zombies anyway? This is impossible!


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Dim 31 Mai 2015, 15:36
Don't fucking touch me. He slapped Aldo's arm away and got up by himself. Damn, that guy was annoying. He might be keeping him alive, but he was annoying. Jem took another deep breath to calm himself down, then hurried away again. Maybe he should've shot him in the leg. He would've served as a perfect distraction for those undead monkeys lusting for man flesh.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Lun 01 Juin 2015, 19:58
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Oh my God, what a bad temper! Aldo thought. Baby boy was so annoying with his perpetual bad mood. Aldo followed him while shooting on guesswork behind him. Suddenly, he heard one of the monkeys collapse. Only two monkeys left. Well done, Aldo! All of a sudden, they reached a six-lane junction. The six ways all seemed alike. Aldo turned to Jem: What way should we pick now, Mr Brain?


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Lun 01 Juin 2015, 20:07
Well, it was hard to be constantly positive (as Aldo was) when you lived in an undead-filled world. Jem's gloomy outlook on his own future had turned him into an ever worse pessimist after the apocalypse. Can't really blame him for that, can we ? He stared at the hallways, but doubted his choice would really matter, so he shrugged. This one, he gestured, already walking towards lane n°2.


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 03 Juin 2015, 22:38
Lane n°2, then? Fair enough! Aldo obeyed and followed baby boy without hesitation... and so did the three undead monkeys. The fastest monkey could almost touch Aldo, which made it easier for Aldo to shoot it in the brain. Two monkeys left! Suddenly, in front of Jem and Aldo, a large sign said: "Enter the room on your left and you will be saved. Continue straight and you will die." That was true: there was a room on the left... but should they trust the sign? No time to think because of the monkeys. What do we do, Jem? Do we trust the sign or do we continue straight?


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43312
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 03 Juin 2015, 22:47
Mind games. Oh, how he fucking hated mind games. Yet, Jem had the nagging feeling that if they disobeyed, they'd be punished. The evil mastermind behind this Jigsaw scenery probably wanted to prove how powerless they were. Choices didn't mean anything in a game like this. Left, he said, hurrying into the room. Fingers crossed: will they be saved ?

Spoiler:
Do we throw the yes/no dice ? 8D


blason 1
Clowney

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeAldo, 28 ansMalaggar, 358 ansHarriet, 25 ans
Nano. MondeZombielandAventures du PasséX-Men Génération
Avatar
Maître Nanite
Clowney
Messages : 5221
Crédit avatar : Steve Hui
OnlineEn ligne
Re: Death rowle Mer 03 Juin 2015, 23:09
HRP:
I guess we shouldn't have XD

As soon as Jem and Aldo entered the room, it locked. No way out. They couldn't go anywhere. Silence. Aldo caught his breath and said: No more monkeys! It looks safe here! We obeyed the sign, which means there must be another exit. I suggest that... Aldo suddenly stopped talking, interrupted by an ominous growl from a dark corner of the room.


« L'homme n'est pas fait pour travailler. La preuve, c'est que ça le fatigue. »
Georges COURTELINE


Death row - Page 2 131461blaprinceorfrogDeath row - Page 2 494385blaclosunDeath row - Page 2 Bla_ninja