Il était une fois, dans de lointaines contrées machin machin gnagna (j'ai dit ça à mon prof de dessin cette année, it was so awkward), bon, z'avez comprit le principe. Ça faisait un bon bout de temps qu'Aysen marchait à travers la forêt (enfin, il flottait d'un pied et marchait de l'autre) et ça faisait un bon bout de temps qu'il n'avait croisé âme qui vive, et encore moins une belle femme pour passer la nuit à ses côtés. "Bah qu'est-ce qu'il foutait là, le con ?" Oui, exactement, oui. Bonne question. Tu fais quoi, là, le con ? No but seriously. A magic wound ? You gotta be kiddin' me. Ain't got no time for this. Oui donc, il était blessé. Et ATTENTION. Pas n'importe quel type de blessure. Mesdames, messieurs, voilà ce qui arrive quand on ne fait pas attention et qu'on se mesure à plus fort que nous. Et tout le monde sait que la forêt c'est l'endroit le plus sécuritaire pour se cacher. Mais tout le monde sait aussi que dans la forêt, outre les loups de 10 mètres de haut, des fées, et des bandits, il n'y avait pas grand chose d'autre. Et là, mine de rien, après le cinquième croissant lunaire à marcher dans les bois et une quand même grave blessure (stop with the drama, I survived worse than this) au bassin qui t'empêche de bien marcher, eh bah tu commences un peu à te demander si tu vas finir par la traverser, la stupide forêt (I'm doin' fine, thanks).

Oh tiens, ça pue la fleur.

Oh tiens, des fleurs tout partout.

Oh tiens, une maison.

Aw. I'm flattered, little kitty. But I'm afraid I don't swing that way. Haha... did he just... yeah... he just... Poor Aysen. He just called him a men's man and then coldly rejected him. I'm pretty sure that was not what the warrior had expected when he came knocking on the door of this house (not that he DID knock, he just rudely barged in through the back), but hey... you never know what you'll walk in on, huh ?

Alright. That was a bad day. A really really really bad day. Urrr fawkin' curazy. And that wouldn't get to him more than that, thank you very much. Stay serious, Aysen, stay a pro. The fawk did I everrr do in mah layf ? Fawkin' curazy stuff. No way he would stay another second in this house. He would find his way for the cat ears and tail. I mean, that purple mad shemale was NOT the only mage in this world, huh. So let's get the fuck out of this place, and quick. Too bad for the food.

Not the only mage indeed, but the only one making potions in such an illogical way that none other than himself would ever find how to deal with it. But that's something only I know. Well, we now. Navi didn't know. And Aysen probably didn't know either. So Navi did not say anything when he saw the kitty get up. He only wondered if he had truly been that bad of a company to be called crazy and if he had offended him by turning him down.

Now standing behind his chair, Violette watched his back, seemingly disappointed that his guest had already decided to leave. He had made food after all. And he had taken care of his wounds. He even washed him. And he let him sleep in his bed. And how did the elf thank him ? Exactly. He didn't. How rude of him.

Navi had never laid eyes on another mage before - if you don't count his adoptive father - but he sure recognized the spell she used. Of course he did. He had spent centuries studying those books, hadn't he ? Curious about who could possibly use such a spell, he stepped forward and pushed Aysen back violently with sparkles in his eyes, because he was clearly standing in the way.

Oh. Your girlfriend ? She's quite the catch. He remained silent, smiling while staring at her and thinking at lightning speed, until his brain decided it would be best to keep on asking. But if you have a girlfriend, why did you kiss me ? °_°

I DIDN'T FAWKIN' KISS YA, YOU SICKO ! And she's nawt my girlfriend ! Shez my target for Elwë's sake ! /inglip

YOU KISSED HER ?!

A fire beam flew in his direction, forcing him to roll on the ground not to be set on fire by some crazy chick. He should have asked way more gold then he did for a shitty day like this one, seriously.

No, you definitely kissed me. In the neck. No, Navi, he didn't. He bit you, you big numbskull ! Airhead ! Idiot ! Don't you realize you're signing Aysen's death certificate right now ? That woman is NOT the kind of woman you want to mess with, and you're definitely doing that right now.

:/85*:

WHAT DOES SHE HAVE MORE THAN ME ?! IS IT BECAUSE HER HAIR IS PURPLE ? WHAT ABOUT RED. RED IS PASSION. YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, AYSEN. YOU'RE MY PREY AND I WILL KILL YOU SO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MINE, AND MINE ONLY.

Oh GREAT. Marvelous. Where's the nib and the certificate ?

Wait, both ? Did she say both ? Why both ? I don't understand what you are trying to do, ma'am, but I would appreciate it if you took the argument outside. I have some very fragile potions in my home, and it would be quite dramatic if they were to be destroyed. He turned around to face Aysen, who was still lying on the floor. Go talk with your girlfriend, kitty.

Dramatic ? I looooove drama.

Yes cause red, you know. Blood, passion, drama, that kind of shit. Power, mostly, which she quickly used by throwing arrows of fire at the little house. Yeah cause man or not, Aysen cheated on her with him (HE DID NOT, YOU DUMB WITCH) and both would rot in hell's fire in no time.

And what are those cat ears and tail ? Did he make you wear that ? What a bad taste.

No one - I repeat : NO ONE - was allowed to mess with Navi's house. Not the kitty, not the wicked witch, not the wind, not anything. Alive or dead. And this is exactly what he translated through his gaze. He looked enraged.

Navi raised his hands, producing a large invisible shield around his house to protect it from harm, and spoke a spell in a incomprehensible language, to tie her tongue.

Navi did not notice him, too busy fortifying his shield and making sure the bubble wouldn't burst, while simultaneously throwing spells of confusion in her direction, not meant to hurt, but to confuse. He did not want to hurt her, after all, he just wanted to protect his home.

He could already see the reward, as he was getting closer and closer to I don't remember her name witch. The client was a nice merchant, who had his home and family destroyed by her several years ago. Aysen didn't know the entire story, but the man did tell him his wife and children were killed. Not that it would have changed his decision to take the job, but it was making his dagger more sharp in his hand, as he slipped behind her and stabbed her in the side with no remorse.

Navi didn't quite grasp what had happened. Katarina's - (I looked it up for you. I'm so nice.) - attacks suddenly stopped. She calmed down. Or maybe she changed her mind. He didn't understand. It was only when he saw her fall down in the kitty's arms that he understood what had happened. Savage ! He screamed. How dare you !

Oh not now, come on. That was REALLY not the time to have a fit, huh. Ah, sensitive women, making a mess each and every damn time. Well, it was a man this time, but whatever. He was behaving like one after all. So, no, Aysen was not in the mood for that right now. He had just finished the job, but he still had his cat attributes, and that peace and love not so peace and love weirdo was not happy, judging by the look on his face. Fucking awful day.

Oh I'm sorrry !
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Wait whut ?

No no no no. Let me start that again with the accurate emotions :


WHUT THE FAWK WAZ GOIN' ON HERE ?! And why was he even apologizing ?! No seriously, dude. I take back the "awful day". That was just way more than awful. It was... it was JDFHHRFOEIRAJORIGHOS. But then in a negative way of saying it. And that was bad. Reaaaaally bad. He kept staring at the flowers, and then the other flower, and then the flowers, and then the other flower, and then he just wished that day had never happened.

He suddenly got up. Ah well. It's been a long time since I went on a quest. (70 years, actually.) Since you killed my Amaranthus Vulgare, you shall come with me. He smiled at him, then glared (seriously Navi, get a hold on your emotions, dude) and pulled him back inside by the tail. They had a lot of things to prepare if they wanted to leave first thing in the morning.