>
HautBas

A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities

Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
A Museum of Splendor and Curiositiesle Lun 14 Jan 2019, 22:28
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)

CONTRAT DE NOT'RP !

- Statut du RP : ouvert aux incrustations surprises - c'est la Faille !
- Tour de jeu : Sip - n°2 - n°3
- Délai maximum d'attente de réponse : une semaine
- Sauts de tours : 1
- Autre : RP anglais ! Only English here, guys What a Face


One only had to follow the signs to find A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities. They showed up at the most random of places. Navi, for example, had found one embedded right on his doorstep. The wood looked new, as if it had just been carved out of a tree. Curious, the mage told himself as he bent forward to read the inscription.


*** VISIT "A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities" TODAY ***

Hello, lucky visitor #1. You are hereby cordially invited to The Museum.
Please follow the signs to reach our illustrious entrance and enjoy the amenities.


Curious indeed. He stroked his invisible beard (Navi had no beard and has never had one — he simply enjoyed giving the impression to be deeply absorbed in thought). Well, I ought to do as it says, no ? He had also picked up the nasty habit of speaking to himself. (It's the loneliness, you see.)

Navi quickly grabbed a bunch of items that he stored into his travel bag (a mage never leaves without his potions), then set off on the path towards the so-called Museum. The first sign had not lied : the entrance was easy enough to find. One simply had to follow the signs. He glanced at the mysterious white manor and casually entered through the single red entry door.


Dernière édition par Siparti le Mar 21 Avr 2020, 12:45, édité 1 fois


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
"Okay..." The last syllable rolled on his tongue. He was lost. Really. Completely. Cayden did not remember how he landed in this wood. He was painting and the next second, in one breath, he was eslewhere. And alone. And lost. And affraid, a little. "Somebody is here ? A nice guy, please. Or girl, but nice." But there is only the silence. And a tree carved. The inscription told of a Museum. In the wood ? Strange. Very strange. And the wood is never a good place in fairytales. Howewer he hadn't a choice : nothing behind, a path in front of him. Cayden trembled but he walked and suddently saw a white manor with a red door. "Enjoy..."


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Djana was looking at the strange door. When she had read the pamphlet, she wasn't expecting a place like this. The bottom of a dark alley. The curiosity being the worst trait of Djana, she pulled the door, her skin fastly switching colors in excitement. How many treasures? How much value? And... How many differents colors would she found in this place? She blinked and, whithout knowing how, ended in a strange and large place, surrounded by... Colors!


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Dear gods. (He would've said "By Shinoki's Beard, but everyone knows Lord Shinoki does not sport a beard. He's far too vain for it. That was Navi's theory at least.) Hum-hum, so : dear gods. What was this place? Navi had been a witness to all kinds of magic throughout the years, but this brand of magic was truly exquisite! As soon as the red door closed behind him, Navi knew he was no longer in the realm of Heavensaw. Indeed not! Heavensaw would never host minds as grand as whomever decided chairs belonged on ceilings. And the paintings! Oooh, the paintings. Who would've guessed the existence of so many colors?


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
He had dare to push the door and timidly look inside. This place was very strange. First: it was lost in the wood. Secondly: the interior was as colorful as the exterior walls were only white. Colors are good. Colors are his friends. So, Cayden came finally in the manor. His claws clicked on the floor and his wings cracked when he shuddered. He moaned : the silence was so big that his sounds were enormous. If this place was dangerous for him, he was not discreet. Wait! Wait a second. It's a painting? A gorgeous painting, before him? "Marvelous!" he said running towards it.


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
She was looking at the colorfull painting, her body automatically taking the shades of it. Suddenly somebody pumbed in her back, as she was almost invisible in front of the colors mix. Ouch! Be careful! Nonsense to excuse herself for being invisible. She thought hear human voices before. She wasn't mad. At least not on this point...


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Hello fellow travelers. Navi greeted the bird and the octopus. He did not even seem surprised to find them there. Just a man-bird and a (wo)man-octopus chatting casually. Such an everyday occurrence. He bowed deeply. I suppose you are Lucky Visitor #2 and #3 ? These man-animals were far more interesting than the paintings on the wall or the sculptures on their pedestals. If they weren't visitors, surely they were part of the entire experience !


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
His painful ass (because he fell upon his tail feathers) on the floor, Cayden was open-mouthed. A woman octopus ! He was reassured by this vision : she was surely a mutant. "Aow... I'm sorry... very sorry, Lady." He stuttered but his eyes were wide open because this woman octopus was the same colors as the marvelous painting. He was in pain but he didn't moan. He was too astounded by these strange things. And more when a purple-haired man came as if this context was perfectly normal. "Euh... Hello, Sir." The floor was more safe. To fall one time was one time too much. There were too many strange things here.


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Djana looked the human and the strange shreek with a smirk. Good morning to you... Did you found this place by luck too? Or were you searching for it? About the number... I don't know. I didn't get any more information than the name of the place. And I don't know for you, but I'm amazed.... She glanced around this a color of joy on her face. The grumpy captain made joyfull by the beauty of art.


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Yes, yes, the art is quite amazing, Navi ousted absentmindedly while waving a thought away. He wasn't even looking at the art. Everything in his body language suggested he was more impressed by the presence of these man-animals than the actual paintings. There was a glint in his eyes that was hard to deny. Why don't you come on up, little bird? Navi asked while extending his hand towards him to help him up.


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
"Euh..." Cayden chose to not explain his strang resolve and finally accepted the purple-haired man's hand to get up. "Do you know where we are ? I'm a bit lost..." He stuttered, blushing as a red tomato too ripe. To ask his path at complete strangers like a little child was too many embarrassing. His feathers were strewed on the floor. He was wriggling and looking everythings execpt the two persons in front of him.


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
In a museum obviously... About the where is the place... I think it's a bit less easy to answer. Not like you should care yet. She showed him the immensity of the place around them. Enjoy! Not like you visit this kind of place everydays... She took a glance at a far away statue representing a "violent" scene between a squid and some others aliens. But seeing your age... You should stay on this side of the exposition yet...


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Correction pour Dje:
Je corrige pas toutes les tournures de phrases parce que ça reste grammaticalement ok, même si parfois ça fait pas très "speech naturel"  pleased as punch  Et n'hésite pas à me dire : "Sip, stop", quand ça devient chiant. Je sais pas expérience que c'est frustrant de se faire corriger à chaque message. No hard feelings ! (Envoie-moi un MP ;D)

About the where is the place...  → As to our location / As to where we are... ou possiblement (même si c'est pas grammaticalement... "beau") As to where this place is... "As to" dans ce contexte veut dire "concernant". Tu peux pas utiliser "About" dans ce contexte, à moins que tu l'utilises dans une phrase comme : "But about this place..." (mais c'était pas l'effet voulu il me semble. Tu l'utiliserais surtout pour reprendre un sujet que ton interlocuteur a laissé tomber avant. "Hold up, but about what you said before—").
I think it's a bit less easy to answer. → Ok, sachant que "a bit less easy" est du langage familier et que c'est pas grammaticalement correct de répéter le diminutif "a bit" devant "less". C'est très façon de parler pour souligner quelque chose de façon humoristique.
everydays → Everyday ne prend pas de pluriel en adjectif. Même si tu voulais dire  "chaque jour" littéralement, vu que tu parles de chaque jour individuellement, ça serait : "every day" (avec un espace, pas comme l'adjectif qui est en un mot, mais toujours sans -s pluriel) pleased as punch
a far away statue → "a statue far away (from them)" / "farther away" (= encore plus correct). Etant donné que "A faraway statue" (en un mot, en tant qu'adjectif) serait une statue très lointaine dans un sens... euh, pas littéraire, mais presque intouchable ? Genre une île déserte ou des pays dans un conte de fée (Ex. a long time ago, in a faraway land...).
But seeing your age... → Très frenchy ça. "Mais vu ton âge" ? Traduction littérale qui se mélange peut-être avec la phrase "seeing as/that" de l'anglais ? Tu devrais reformuler la phrase comme... euh... "But seeing as you are still very young/a child, blablabla" ou "But since you're so young..." si tu veux lui donner un air moins coincé XD (C'est très académique comme vocabulaire sinon).
You should stay on this side of the exposition yet... → "yet" ? Peut-être "for now" ? Pour le moment ? En fait j'ai pas compris ce que tu voulais dire avec ta dernière phrase. "Mais vu ton âge... tu devrais rester de ce côté de l'exposition pour le moment..." ?

The octopus is right, Navi confirmed as if he was somehow the authority on this place and everything it contained. This is a museum. One of powerful magic, clearly. The paintings looked so lifelike he could almost imagine himself walking right through them.


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
Cayden winced keeping a careful silence. He knew that they were in a art museum. His ask concerned the place of this museum (and also of the woods). But he understood that this guys didn't know where they were. The young man looked the other painthings. One of them attracted his eyes and he got closer with a mouth opening on a stunned cry. The colors were wonderful ! And the fantastic movements were so realistic. He caressed the painting... and screamed stronger. The canvas had smallowed his hand ! And his arm ! And shortly all of his body if nobody helped him. "Help ! The painting is eating me !"


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Holding a few unmovables objects around with her tentacles, Djana used the two longest to catch the young Shreek, pulling him out of the painting. The painting was almost as strong than the Nemian and she groaned in effort, hoping she wouldn't rip the shoulder of the poor bird apart. I wouldn't say no to an helping hand... She glanced at the human, awating to see what he would do.


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Correction pour Djerin:
a few unmovables objectsunmovable, sans pluriel. On accorde pas les adjectifs en anglais heureusement What a Face D'ailleurs, c'est pas faux, hein, mais unmovable est un peu archaïque comme mot. "Immovable" serait plus commun dans ce sens. Unmovable peut-être dans le sens où t'as quelqu'un que tu peux pas faire changer d'avis parce qu'il est trop têtu, par exemple. Mais moins dans le sens des objets physiques. (But again : pas faux.)
Holding [...] around with her tentacles → Si tu veux dire que ses tentacules encerclent les objets, faut le formuler différemment. Là ça se comprend comme "dans l'environ/proche". C'est un peu difficile de comprendre si tu veux dire a) qu'elle tient des objets qu'il y a un peu partout autour d'elle (un peu around) ou, b) qu'elle tient des objets en les encerclant avec ses tentacules (wrapping a tentacle around something). Dans les deux cas faudrait reformuler pour clarifier le truc. (P.e. a) She held a few immovable objects that were around her with her tentacles, then... ou b) While wrapping her tentacles around a few immovable objets... (parce que "wrapping around" est une combinaison connu alors que "holding around" non).
The painting was almost as strong than the Nemian → As strong as the Nemian. Being as strong as vs. Being stronger than. Être aussi fort que vs. être plus fort que.
she groaned in effort → she groaned with effort (les fameuses prépositions)
the shoulder of the poor bird → juste une remarque : c'est correct grammaticalement parlant mais pas très naturel. En anglais en général on inverse presque toujours ces trucs, surtout quand tu parles d'un objet (noun/object) euh... vivant (animate). Genre tu dirais p.e. We're taking Djerin's car au lieu de We're taking the car of Djerin. Donc ici : "the poor bird's shoulder". L'inverse du français.
an helping handa helping hand
awating to see → faute de frappe j'imagine. Awaiting. Mais encore très archaïque. On dit plutôt waiting ici.

Navi, as usual, did the unexpected. Instead of offering a helping hand (something the octopus-woman was clearly asking for), he decided it was wiser to give her a big, old shove. That's all it took, really. One shove, and BAM. All three of them were swallowed by the painting. Weeeeeeeee ! fun Surely this is what the museum had meant for them to do, no? Quite an experience!


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
In first time, Cayden hoped he was saved. The octopus woman helped him and, even if her act was hurting his arm, he thought he will soon be out of the canvas. But noooo ! The other man, with a strange spirit, determined to visit the painting and shoved them inside. Cayden screamed in his horror but his cry was swallowed in same moment of his body. They fell during long seconds. His wings didn't helped him : he couldn't use them. The landing was rough ; he moaned getting up to looked around him. The museum was became a green and infinate meadow. "Okay... Where we are, now ?"


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Djana was looking the human with a jaded face. Typicaly human... I hope for ou there is a way out. Or I promise to carve one in your own body... After this subtle threat, she took the time to look around, seeking for any kind of landmark. Nothing. Just an immensity of an agressive green. I won't say we're fucked.... But right here, I miss my ship... A lot.

HRP:
Waiting plutôt que Awaiting? D'accord. J'aurais pas cru tu vois.


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Correction pour Djerin:
D'abord pour ton HRP > Yeees. Premièrement parce que "awaiting something" est très formel. Genre... 19ième siècle fancy boy formel. Puis aussi parce que c'est plutôt un verbe qu'on utilise avec un object abstrait. Donc dans la phrase que tu as utilisé ça fait très étrange. C'est un langage spécifique qu'on utiliserait dans des contextes prédéfinis comme... dans une lettre formel (I shall be awaiting your answer) ou bien un contexte abstrait où tu attends un truc probable dans le futur (They await the birth of a child). Dans tous les autres cas c'est plus correct d'utiliser "to wait (for)" pleased as punch

Djana was looking the human → at the human ; to look at something/someone + mauvais temps du verbe. Djana looked at the human with [...]. Tu utilises surtout le past continuous quand y'a une autre action qui intérrompe l'action que tu décris avec le past continuous ou quand y'a un changement soudain. Par exemple : Djana was looking at the human when she (suddenly) realized she was naked.
Typicaly → typically
I hope for ou → you What a Face Faute de frappe. MAIS (ouais y'en a toujours un), c'est une traduction littéral du français cette phrase (j'espère pour toi que...). Y'a une phrase similaire en anglais qui manquerait un mot ici : "I hope for your sake that... / For your sake, I hope that..."
to carve one in your own bodyto carve something into something ou bien to carve something out of something. Et ps : your own body = your body vu que your body est déjà "his own". A moins que tu l'utilises pour souligner un truc répété, genre : "I'll carve it into your body !" "My body ?" "Yes." "My own body?!" "Yes... ! (What else ?)"
seeking forlooking for something ou bien seeking something (sans préposition).
an agressive green → aggressive

Such aggression! Truly unnecessary if you asked Navi. But then again, nobody was asking him anything. Unless that BirdBoy had been talking to him when he wondered where they had ended up. I believe, my dear, we are in that painting that tried to gobble you up. Navi replied matter-of-factly. As to the OctopusWoman's request... And as such, we won't need a ship here. It's a meadow! A big, beautiful, green meadow. No oceans here. Not that I can see. He still squinted, as if an ocean might appear in the distance if he focused long enough.


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
Cayden was open-mouthed (again). "Into the painting ... Really?" He had a thoughtful face then he greatly smiled. "It's amazing! A painting! Into the painting!" He jumped on the spot, excited despite his fear. "A painting!" he repeated with an exalted voice. "Do you think that I can paint?" he asked, getting of his bag a paintbrush. "I have also several pots of paint. Blue, green, red, purple, pink, yellow, orange, black, white and others ... "His voice was clearly dreamy (he thought he was dreaming ... it was the only logical answer at this strange situation).


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Re: A Museum of Splendor and Curiositiesle Ven 01 Fév 2019, 00:07
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
She looked at the human and shrugged. Anyway. That's a spaceship you medieval punk.... It fly accross the sky. She approached the shreek with curiosity. As the painting seem to be our new reality, I suppose your paint can modify it? Like drawing a meal will make it real? Cause I'm a bit hungry right there, and I wouldn't mind a cookie or a... She holded back the word "poultry" to avoid any diplomatic incidend with a bird.

HRP:
C'est incroyable le nombre de double consonnes que je rate.... (J'ai failli oublier le at de looked XD)


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: A Museum of Splendor and Curiositiesle Sam 02 Fév 2019, 12:55
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Correction pour Djerin:
That's a spaceship → A moins que le vaisseau se retrouve là où ils sont, en pleine vue, ou bien qu'elle peut le pointer du doigt, tu peux pas utiliser "that". Donc vu qu'elle parle de son vaisseau (imaginaire) qui n'est pas là, faudrait dire : "I mean/I'm talking about a spaceship" ou bien juste "A spaceship, you..." avant l'accent sur la première partie pour désigner qu'elle corrige bien sa notion du "ship".
It flyIt flies
the painting seemthe painting seems
I'm a bit hungry right thereright now ; on désigne pas sa faim dans la place mais dans le temps. C'est la même chose en français. Tu as faim là maintenant. Pas là sur cet endroit.
She holded back → She held back
any diplomatic incidendincident + any incidents au pluriel OU BIEN a diplomatic incident au singulier.

Ooooh, an interesting thought experiment. Navi clapped his hands like a child, excited at the prospect of changing reality. Magic sort of allowed him to do the same, but it still felt tangibly different from whatever they were about to explore. Please try!


blason 1
Silivren

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeCayden Cholena (17)Anoushka (7)Raz'Sha (35)Mikhaïl (30)Viholvärakuuna (777)Rosario (25)Kishareera (15)Nuwarëliya (37)Leif (28)Furaha (34)
Nano. MondeX-MenChimAPChim AdPX-MenAPAdPZomzomPico.Bruxia
AvatarCaydenAnouRazMichaViholväSarioKishaElyLeifFuraha
Maître Nanite
Silivren
Messages : 5502
Crédit avatar : Roll Around de TamberEllan (Deviantart)
OnlineEn ligne
Re: A Museum of Splendor and Curiositiesle Sam 02 Fév 2019, 19:11
Réputation du message : 100% (2 votes)
"Okay..." he timidly answered. "I will try to paint a... a tree ? And a meal." The tree was easy, he had painted a lot of trees before and after his mutation, with fingers and  claws. His wings carried him while he was flying and swirling in a colorful ballet. Greens and browns and more shadings. And the magic happened ! A majestic tree appeared in front of them. Cayden stopped his movments and looked it open-mouthed. "I succeeded !" He was very happy of this success. Really ! So, he was less intimidated to draw a meal... for birds : grains, fruits and honey. "Soooo... Do you think this is good ?"


A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Sp_spe11
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Com_na13
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Blason-Touristonanite2
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Roux10
A Museum of Splendor and Curiosities Fan_nm10


Couleurs:

Cayden : #ff3300 - Anoushka : #ff6600- Raz'Sha : #0066cc- Micha : #6666cc- Viholvärakuuna : #990000- Rosario : gras - Kishareera : #ff3399- Nuwarëliya : #3399cc - Leif : #cc3300- Furaha : #009900
Djerin Rashkae

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeSiegfried, 27 ansSky, 31 ansSaukko, 27 ansDjana, 31 ansKhael, 23 ansPeter, 17 ansDimitri, 26 ansNati, 19 ans
Nano. MondeX-menX-menZombielandAlpha PerduAdPChimèresChimèreBruxia
AvatarSiegfriedSkySaukkoDjanaKhaelPeterDimaNati
Djerin
Djerin Rashkae
Messages : 5587
Crédit avatar : Stanouche
OnlineEn ligne
Re: A Museum of Splendor and Curiositiesle Dim 03 Fév 2019, 20:00
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
HRP:
Aaaah, le bon vieux -s de la troisième personne du singulier... Je l'oublie presque à chaque fois.

For the first time in a long period, Djana was surprised... And unable tu hide it. The jaw on the knees, she was so occupied looking at the tree who just poped out in front of her face than she almost missed the meal the shreek offered her. Grunting internally facing the lack of meat (surprising from a birdy), the ravished a fruit, took a bite.... And spitted it immediately. Yurk! Taste like paint! I hope it's not a lead-based one.... I think a swallowed a bit of it.


Et au fait, c'est "Djerin" et pas "Djérin" (Même si le é se prononce, il ne s'écrit pas)
Siparti

Tes Personnages
Ses Personnages :
Ses Personnages Perso 1Perso 2Perso 3Perso 4Perso 5Perso 6Perso 7Perso 8Perso 9Pico. Perso
Prénom & âgeDalton (24)Navi (?)Pasha (23)Jem (21)Ryot (28)Emmett (41)Zenkûga (54)Oksana (25)Domino (36)
Nano. MondeX-MenADPChimèresZombielandAlpha PerduX-MenADPChimèresBruxia
AvatarDaltonNaviPashaJemRyotEmmettZenOksanaDomino
La soudoyée ¤ Assassin privée de Kami-sama
Siparti
Messages : 43595
Crédit avatar : Lokorum
OnlineEn ligne
Re: A Museum of Splendor and Curiositiesle Jeu 07 Fév 2019, 01:37
Réputation du message : 100% (1 vote)
Correction pour Djerin:
And unable tu hide it → to :L:
The jaw on the knees, [...] → Emplacement étrange là au début de la phrase et formulation un peu awkward. Pour référence, l'expression de base est : "to have your jaw drop (on the floor)". Donc si on considère que t'es juste créatif avec ton langage, faudrait coupé la phrase en deux pour la compréhension. Par exemple : "Djana's jaw dropped to the floor. She was so [...]" ou bien "Djana had her jaw on her knees and was so [...]" dans ton style.
she was so occupied → Traduction du français. Ici on aurait utilisé la variante "busy". She was so busy looking at...
the tree whothe tree that (pour les objets vs. who pour les personnes (et qu'un arbre est considéré comme objet et pas une personne c'est une question de philo bwahaha ).
popedpopped
than shethat she (than = pour une comparaison, that = pour une suite logique)
the ravishedshe, j'imagine ?
a fruitA piece of fruit (au sens singulier) ou fruit sans article (au sens pluriel)
the ravished a fruit, took a bite → Si elle ravish le fruit, elle le mange comme un barbare donc pas logique qu'elle prenne juste une bouchée après. Either take a bite or ravish it. A moins que tu voulais dire "to ravish" dans le sens suuuuuuper archaic où elle le prend avec force ? Mais c'est un truc du temps de Shakespeare. Le mot n'a plus le même sens de nos jours.
And spitted it immediately.And spit it out (pour garder le même temps de verbes) + en bonus, si jamais faut conjuguer vers le passé c'est "spat" (c'est un irrégulier).
Taste like paint!Tastes (vu que "it" (3ème p.) tastes)
I think a swallowedI think I swallowed, obvi.

Bon Dje, faut se relire hein XD 3/4 de tes erreurs c'est des fautes de frappes ou d'inattention. Tu peux les retrouver en relisant, for suuure  monstre

The tree was certainly impressive. Not as impressive as watching Birdman work, but the end result was quite beautiful. Navi nodded with excitement and gave the boy a big thumb's up. Great work on the tree. Thankfully the OctopusLady had already attempted the so-called meal. Maybe your food still needs some refinement though. Perhaps I could be of assistance? He folded back his sleeves and wiggled his fingers to make the paint-covered meals edible with his own brand of magic.


blason 1