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The city that never sleeps

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The city that never sleepsle Mar 7 Mai 2013 - 0:03
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The city that never sleeps





Noah never gets lost. Never. Ever. So where the fuck was he and why was he lost ? It was the fourth time he stood still, scanning the horizon with the hope of finding any reference point he could use, but it was no use. His mind couldn't track his location. What's the fucking use of being a mutant if your ability keeps fucking everything up ? Shit. He kicked a can, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans, and sighed. This was bad. He had promised Gage he'd be back by 7, and according to his cellphone - which couldn't find a signal - it was currently 6:30. He'd be in deep shit if he was late. Gage was one of the last people on earth you wanted to get angry. The little guy wasn't the most patient person in the world, and especially loathed waiting for Noah. But this was hardly his fault, right ? He simply had no clue where he was. The streets still looked like the common New York streets, but it had suddenly gotten really dark. Furthermore, the silence was nerve-racking.

New York City, the city that never sleeps, was dead.



Dernière édition par Siparti le Mar 21 Avr 2020 - 12:45, édité 3 fois


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Ven 18 Déc 2015 - 0:36
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P-Body:
schmibrary, je me doute que c'est un mot valise (portmanteau, comme disent – bizarrement XD – les english), mais le premier mot, c'est quoi ? XD

Unknown got to the door. And well, she clearly heard the call, actually. Let's go! She said and when they stepped ahead, the door opened by itself like it was waiting for them. In the corridor, a big panel lighted up. "01" was written on it in big numbers. Then, another open door led them to a bright large room. White floor and walls. And two funny guns on a pedestal. And funny boots. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the door was fun. And it closed right behind Unknown and Jem.

Bouh :
Ça doit être plein de fautes, chuis complètement HS =.=


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Dim 20 Déc 2015 - 14:32, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 20 Déc 2015 - 13:27
Atlas:
• a big panel lighted up = Not wrong, cause "lit" and "lighted" can be used interchangeably, but usually "lighted" is used as the adjective form and "lit" as the verb form. But again : not wrong ! You can use what sounds best to you. For me that would've been lit here, but for someone else that could've been lighted. Totally personal, but extra info never hurts 8D

• "01" was written in large numbers = was written on it in 'large numbers' → I'm not sure how to correct the 'large numbers' part cause I'm not sure if it's wrong ? You do say "in big letters" so way not "in big numbers" ? XD I just never heard of it, I think. Do you say that in French ? "(...) en gros chiffres ?" ?

• And two funny guns onto a pedestal = on a pedestal → you use on for things that are fixed and unmoving (like here : the portal guns were there when Noah and Unknown entered) and onto for things that you move from one place to the other, like... "GLaDOS moved the cake onto the table" 8D (Again, blurry lines because sometimes you can use both. Don't you hate English ? 8D)

Awesome. Not the room, not the closed door, not the funny boots. No, Noah—being a real 'murican—was of course talking about the guns. (You can't call yourself a true American if you don't like that shit, ok.) I mean sure, they looked a bit funky, but they were still clearly guns. Guns that shoot stuff. It looked a bit too science-fictiony for Noah (he liked the old classics), but hey. He'd content himself with what he had. The smurf walked up to the pedestal and picked up the blue gun.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 20 Déc 2015 - 14:54
Core:
Extra info never hurts indeed 8D Thanks a lot!

En français on dirait "en gros/en grand" indistinctement, mais si on met quelque chose derrière, ce serait plutôt "lettres". J'ai jamais entendu "gros chiffres/grand chiffres" dans ce genre de contexte, mais j'imagine que ce ne serait pas complètement faux. Juste bizarre. Si en plus, il y a le mot "écrit" dans la phrase, on n'a pas besoin de préciser parce que c'est implicitement des lettres ou des chiffres. Genre "c'était écrit en gros/grand au-dessus de la porte".
Et j'ai même pas pensé à "big", mais maintenant que tu le dis, sounds better to me too XD

On/onto. Get it. Thank you so much ! 8D

Unknown –being really bad at shooting– wasn't as thrilled as Noah was. But curiosity is a funny thing too and she couldn't help but pick up the orange one. It was lighter than she expected and she liked the sensation of her hand fitting so well on the trigger. That she pulled. Lightning came out and a big oval yellow thing appeared on the wall in front of her. Waow! 8D


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Sam 2 Jan 2016 - 22:30, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Mar 22 Déc 2015 - 13:36
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GLaDOS:
• she couldn't help but pick the orange one = correct if you meant to say to choose, but if you meant to say to take, you have to say "pick up"
• A lightning = Just lightning. It's like "water" : it doesn't need an article.

What the hell is that. The disappointment couldn't be bigger. He had expected pew-pew laser guns like in Star Wars. Instead, these guns shot misshaped circles. GREAT. Just great. The fuck was he supposed to do with this ? He fired his own gun, aiming for the wall on the opposite end of where Unknown shot. His oval was as blue as his hair.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Sam 2 Jan 2016 - 22:41
She did it again, more excited than Noah after all. The first oval disappeared when she created the second one. Then the second one disappeared when she created the third one. And so on all over the place. Finally, she pushed a switch –later, she would say that she did it on purpose but she didn't– and a red oval happened. And the yellow one was still there. Funny thing: she could see herself and Noah from a different point of view. One entire minute passed from that moment to her Amaaziinng! reaction.


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 0:53, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 3 Jan 2016 - 14:04
Momma:
a red oval happened → I guess you can say this if you're being creative with words and all, but normally red ovals don't "happen", but "appear" or "show up" or anything of the like. Cause nothing actually happens, if you know what i mean. But if you're being creative, it's cool 8D
One entire minute past  → passed, not past (= the past, le passé vs. passed, the verb)

What iiiiis that? (And how did you do it?) Noah still hadn't figured out how to shoot a second oval. It was frankly kind of sad. Hey, go through it. Just to see if you can. Of course, Noah. Because when you find a weird alien gun and it shoots what seems to be some kind of portal, your first instinct is to go through the weird alien portal rather than put the gun down and run away, huh ? Frat boy logic.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 1:23
Pôpa ? :
• Happen/appear/show up : yes I'm being creative XD /WRONG/ En fait, je voulais surtout éviter d'utiliser encore une fois "appear" :p Du coup, je fais genre et je laisse comme ça pour cette fois. Pis la prochaine fois, j'utiliserai "show up". Voili voilou merci beaucoup o/
• Past/passed : omg. Je me suis tellement dit, au moment de l'écrire, que je faisais une bourde. Et je sais pas si c'était l'heure ou quoi (on va dire que c'était l'heure, hein XD /SBAF/), mais je comprenais pas pourquoi ça me chiffonnais XD Now I known why! Thank you! \o/

Unknown didn't go through right when he asked. But she did approach the thing and instead of her whole body, she put the gun through it. Well, only the barrel. She cared about her hand... Nothing happened. Ok, "nothing" wasn't exactly "nothing". Let's say nothing bad happened. The barrel appeared out of the yellow oval. Niiice. Only then, she did it. She went through it. Hha!. She did it again, and again, and again, and all along, she was giggling like a child.


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 15:48, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 15:07
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Yes, child?:
Let's say nothing bad → You have to repeat "happened" at the end of the sentence as well or the meaning changes (even though everyone would have understood what you meant, of course o/)
The barrel showed up from (off?) the yellow oval → What are you trying to say exactly ? That the barrel of the gun is exiting through the other portal? I'd maybe say : The barrel appeared out of the yellow oval or what I said before with the exiting. (You could use show up, but then you say up out of and maybe that's too much for easy comprehension XD)

All right. So those portals made you crazy. Good to know. Noah stared at the twenty-something chick that was running through her own portals, giggling like a madman. It would've been creepy if only that were the only creepy thing that happened in those ten minutes of silent contemplation. The other creepy thing was the voice that suddenly resounded in the chamber. It was as if someone was speaking through a badly connected microphone. HELLOOOO. HELLO??? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME. Oh. OOOH. Where is that button... now let's see... Ah ! There, now you should be able to hear me without that horrible feedback, hahaha.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 16:13
I want a cookie *^* :
Oh Gosh, english is so twisted sometimes XD (said the french girl /SBAF/)
Ok alors je vais garder "appeared out of" parce que "show up out of", c'est trop... trop ! XD Et le plus con dans l'histoire, c'est que j'ai même pas pensé à "to exit" /NOUILLE/
Mais ça m'arrive souvent de figure out après coup qu'il y avait un easier way to say it xD

And Oh my, ton RP ! J'ai tellement ri XD


A human being! Finally! Unknown stopped running trough her portal and paid attention. Obviously, the man was taking things pretty lightly so she assumed that there was a place where robots didn't actually kill you. Or try to. Hellooooo! She answered back. Where are you? All she could see was an antique camera.


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 18:10, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 17:48
Well you ain't gettin' no damn cookies:
Ça t'arrive souvent de figure out après ? 8D *pointe* FRENGLISH. HAHAHA. OUI, JE TE CONTAMINE. My evil, elaborate plan is working...

:/512:

the man was taking the things pretty lightly → no need for the "the", you can drop it

OH. OH GOOD. An actual answer! I never expected— I mean, how long have I been speaking to myself over here, hahahaha! It feels like a century at the least. So dark... so cold... I think. I imagine I'd be cold after a century. Anyway, I am... where am I? It sounded like he had no idea where he was. That was great. Just great. How the hell are we supposed to know? The voice laughed awkwardly. Well, we'll figure that out soon, won't we? I need you to come get me.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Lun 4 Jan 2016 - 18:31
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But whyyyyy D8 :
Ahah ! Si je ne me retenais pas, je frenglisherais tout le temps XD
C'est la faute des séries et des films ; chuis plongée dans l'anglais tous les jours XD ... Attends, c'est toi qui fais les séries et les films ? C'pour ça que Glenn... 8D Woot!

*drops the "the"* Haaaan, maintenant que tu me le dis, ça me paraît tellement évident 8D

How, genius? If you don't know where you are, how could we possibly get to you?! She wasn't aggressive, as you might think by reading that. It was more like defiance. Well, I don't know, try the door. The voice was almost scornful, now. It's closed. The other one, genius. Oh-oh no sorry, that wasn't for you. I mean, obviously I was talking to you but I wasn't talking to you. Wait a minute... Sorry, where were we? ... Okaaay...


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Ven 8 Jan 2016 - 23:28, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Mer 6 Jan 2016 - 10:33
Because you're a bad child:
as you could think → All right, so this is one of those complex modal verbs. You use might here to express a possibility. You would paraphrase it as [It is possible that [you think she wasn't aggressive by reading that]]. Could is used to expresses a sort of ability under specific conditions (f.e. I could do this, if only I had a tree) or with alternatives (f.e. I could do this, but I could also do that).

Yadda yadda yadda. I vote we ignore the voice and err... He was gonna say "escape", but they were the ones who entered this building in the first place. Technically they were trespassing. Well, and find out what's going on. Or whatever. Shoot guns. The point was that he wanted to do something. Anything. Not just stand around and chat. That's such a woman's thing to do. Where is the exit ?


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Ven 8 Jan 2016 - 23:41
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No I'm not èé:
Ça me paraît tellement évident, des fois, quand tu m'expliques 8D Thank you o/

Move forward and you'll see it. I hope. Can you see? Okay, if you're blind, just tell me, I'd rather know that now than watch you die. Or should I say hear you die. Please scream if you die. I feel like I'm in the dark for so long, I don't want to be disappointed. I'm sure you can understand that, right? Unknown gave a sidelong look to Noah. I'm ignoring him... Let's move forward and find out where the exit is.



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Sam 9 Jan 2016 - 10:37
See, you're giving me attitude, aren't you:
As you have made no mistakes (+2 cookies 8D (one for the faultless post and one for making me laugh)), I will correct my own spoiler in the last post, since I just noticed I wrote "used to expresses" which is of course twice the same, and I should've deleted "expresses". Note to self : don't post too quickly. Thank you, thank you. *bows*

Good. Yes. Excellent. The smart thing to do was completely ignore the crazy guy that requested they scream in terror when dying. Always a good call. Noah started moving around the room, completely zoning out the voice's long monologue which just didn't seem to end. Ah, found it ! he yelled, asking for Unknown's attention, and pointed upwards. There was the exit sign. Way, way, way, way high up. Unreachable.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 10 Jan 2016 - 21:19
Again, no I'm not èé:
Ahah XD
Haaaan, thank you so much! 8D I fell so proud of myself 8) I'm sure I'm gonna make some mistakes in that one =.=

She followed his look and for a second, she felt discouraged. But then, she remembered how she laughed and laughed a few minuets ago with... Portals! The guns! They were the way out of this place! She shot a red oval in front of her and a yellow one up there (she had to shoot three times, to tell the truth: she's never been good at this, remember?). She grinned at Noah and walked through the portal. Ahah!



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Mer 13 Jan 2016 - 14:03
Then stop frowning:
Well, the mistakes you made were in your spoiler, not in your RP 8D So that still counts, right?

I fell so proud of myselffelt is the past tense of to feel, fell is the past tense of to fall, but you probably want to say this in the present tense, so "I feel so proud of myself" (ps: not that it's wrong, but I think it's more common to either say "I am proud of myself" vs. "I feel proud" without the 'of myself')
in that one → in this one

That was... pretty amazing, ok, he had to admit it. (Though how come he didn't think of that?) Don't shoot anywhere! he yelled as he walked towards one of Unknown's portals. The last thing he needed was for her to shoot at the ceiling and for him to fall to his death 'cause of that chick's dumb decisions. He went through the portal with nearly uncomfortable ease, and came out the other side. Well. That was weird.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Jeu 14 Jan 2016 - 23:52
I'm not e.e :
Gosh, c'est des fautes tellement bêtes, en plus XD
*court en rond, les bras en l'air*

But it's fun, right? She really was enjoying the moment. Yes, despite everything, she was having fun. But I'm not sure that was going to last. Cause the facility was full of doodledoos that she couldn't control. And those doodledoos were about to do something to her brain. Don't ask me how. I didn't get the note. Let's just see what happened next. Well, the exit door opened at their arrival and Unknown went through it. Then she forgot a lot. Almost everything, I'd say. She looked at the gun with bafflement.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Sam 16 Jan 2016 - 10:59
Where did your eyebrows go?:
T'as sûrement pas relu le spoiler, parce que c'était seulement là XD

despite of everything → you can drop the "of" and just say "despite everything"
But I'm not sure this was going to lastthat instead of this (you refer back to something not 'in front of you')
doodledoos → what are doodledoos? XD Is it a nonsense word?

All right, what the hell is this? Noah, completely oblivious to Unknown loss of memory, went straight ahead. He ran down the stairs and walked onto a platform with a big tube, in which an elevator descended the moment he laid eyes on it. There was no other way to go. This seems like it might be a bit too tight for two people... he groaned.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Lun 18 Jan 2016 - 22:41
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I shaved them e_e :
Si si , j'ai vu que c'était que dans le spoiler XD Mais c'était quand même des fautes bêtes ! D'ailleurs, j'ai recommencé avec this/that. Ces deux-là, j'arrête pas de les confondre ><
Et doodledoo, c'est effectivement un nonsense word :p C'était plus marrant que "thing" ou autre chose ^^

Unknown followed him without a word while she was carefully composing an emotionless face. But the leopard doesn't change its spots. She didn't know who he was (even though his face was ringing a bell) but she was still sarcastic and all. Are you saying (*) you're too fat to fit in with me? Yes, she said that. And she said that with a grin.


(*) J'ai pas mis le "that" parce que c'est du dialogue. Ça passe, dans les dialogues, même si c'est à l'écrit ? **



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Mar 19 Jan 2016 - 16:07
You can't just shave your eyebrows.:
Doodledoo 8D ERROR. No errors found. (Et ouais, ça passe. Ca passe même en écrit dans les pas-dialogues si tu écris en not formal comme moi.)

What? No. I'm broad. Cause I'm a man. A muscular man. My muscles take a lot of space. If anyone's fat here, it's you. This was not at all what he had meant when he made his observation—he was thinking that the elevator was probably designed to hold only one person—but Unknown had made him forget how to behave like a non-rude person. Douchebag Noah was back, bitches! Also childish Noah.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 7 Fév 2016 - 23:04
Btu why? °° :
Wouhou ! \o/
Thanks Master! 8)


Unknown started to understand what kind of guy she had in front of her. Ok then. So your muscles and my carcass, huh? She stepped past him into the elevator and she pinned herself against the wall, gun pointed to the floor. The thing might go down very fast! Her eyebrows sent the invitation, then her voice went carnie's: Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seat belts and keep your hands inside: the ride... begiiins!


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Ven 18 Mar 2016 - 0:14, édité 1 fois



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Mar 16 Fév 2016 - 9:20
Because now you're expressionless.:
which kinda guy → two things: A) what instead of 'which' (= 'which' is used when you have two possibilities, ex. Which car should I pick: the red one or the blue one?); and B) kind of instead of 'kinda' (= in spoken language you won't notice the difference if you speak quickly, but in written language you can really only use 'kinda' as a one-word sentence, ex. "Did you really mean that?" "Yeah, kinda.")
sit-belts → You know what? This would actually make more sense than the word it actually is XD It's seat belts.

Noah wished he would've taken her comical advice. The lift really did go down like a rollercoaster. He got that belly feeling you get when something goes down really fast, like those pirate boats that swing back-and-forth in theme parks. He hated it. Dear lord who art in heaven... Thankfully, the ride didn't last more than a minute. It soon came to a halt and opened in a very similar room as the one they just left. Stairs led to a white, ominous door.


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Ven 18 Mar 2016 - 0:37
You don't like it? e_e:
Sit/seat belt! Ahahah ! J'imagine que chaque langue a sa collection de "ce serait plus logique that way, mais tant pis" XD

Behind the door, a weird white room again. Well again... Not for our poor Unknown: brand new challenge for her – not that she wasn't used to it. She had to discover the portal thing all over again, but she intended to discover it quietly. Watching Noah. She stepped into the room and looked everywhere. There was an exit door about twenty feet high. No platforms, no stairs, no grips, no nothing. Except for a laser on the left and a round black thing on the right. Well, well, well... She said, expecting Noah to solve the puzzle.



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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 20 Mar 2016 - 12:54
No. It looks horrible, in fact.:
Perfect 8D

Noah scratched his chin. Ok, what the heck. He wasn't the brainy guy. Where was Gage when you needed him? Seems simple enough. A contradiction with his thoughts, but Noah was full of contradictions. We've got a laser and err... well, that looks like something the laser should go into, right? Ah, got it. Pffff. Easy. He used his gun and shot at the wall which the laser hit, then at the one right in front of the other end. Like magic, the laser got projected into its target and a platform popped up. Hell yeah! High five!


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Re: The city that never sleepsle Dim 20 Mar 2016 - 18:04
Well... Give me that pen, I'm gonna draw new ones:
8D

High five! She was amazed and did her best not to seem too amazed. That gun thing was pretty awesome and she definitely wanted to try it. She soon figured out she could use it to bring them up to the platform. She pulled once and a portal appeared in front of her, then pulled again and another portal appeared up there. Wait... the first one had gone. Oh come on. Then, luckily she found the switch and pulled the trigger again. Boy, she must have looked like an idiot.


Dernière édition par Alyaa le Mar 22 Mar 2016 - 23:10, édité 1 fois



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